Thursday, March 19, 2020

Online school and promiscuous teens

As of last week, school has been cancelled. Well, not cancelled, just shifted to an online format. It really is a new kind of approach for everyone. I think what this is teaching us is that the required school learning can happen a lot faster when kids aren’t at school for 6 hours a day. There are other ways. My kids miss their friends though. They are bored once their assignments are finished. Dining in restaurants is prohibited. No gyms. No church. It’s a bit weird for us, but nothing really bad yet. I was feeling pretty depressed about it on the first day of online school. I had such high hopes for the month of May. My job and classes would be finished and my kids would still be in school. A whole month of me time. So, that’s probably why I was so bummed on the first day of guiding them along. It felt like my life in Turkey when my kids didn’t go to school and I had to homeschool them. They had nowhere to go. They couldn’t really talk with anyone because they didn’t know Turkish well enough. Playdates weren’t a thing. Anyway, I feel pretty prepared mentally for this type of life. I’ve done the isolation thing before for years of my life. I can do it again. The difference is that other people are doing it too, so I know I’m not alone.
              Lately our young ladies, Jingles and Nestle, have reached teenagehood (about 6 months). Nestle in particular has been in heat the last few days. She meows at the back door wanting to go outside more than usual. We’ve seen some suspicious looking tomcats lurking around these parts too. A rough looking calico and a big black one. Yesterday, we caught a glimpse of her walking along the back fence just inside the peach orchard as if she had no idea there was any other cat around. Nestle is a pretty little thing. Mostly white, with grey ears and a grey striped tail. We could see the Big Blackie sitting not far from her. Probably just 15 ft. away. Then he started walking toward her. When he got real close, she turned her head toward him as if she were saying, “Oh, it’s you! I didn’t know you were right there.” (Yeah, the playing dumb thing that teenage girls do when they know guys are watching them and drooling all over themselves). They exchanged a few kitty communication signals and before you knew it, the black cat was on top of her. At this point, I screamed, “Get her! Save her!” to Sherman and Jonathan who were watching the whole thing with me from our kitchen window. (More like, “Save us from the responsibility of taking care of more kittens!!!!!) Dad responded really slow, but Sherman screamed, “Rape!” and they both ran full speed to the back gate and saved Nestle from Big Blackie. I really hope my kids can learn about sex from this. Generally, boys like sex. Likewise, girls like sex sometimes. They have to be willing. And even if they are willing, it doesn’t mean it’s okay. It certainly doesn’t mean having sex is okay if the girl or boy are underage, like my darling kitties. I could go on and on with this inner dialogue about kitty sex, but I won’t. All I can say is Nestle got out of the house once again that day. She was out with you-know-who well past sunset and deep into the night. Cinci, who is our Kitty-Whisperer, was able to fetch her successfully. He told me today that he had found her in the branches of our big Blue Spruce and the two big guys were prowling around below. Cinci gave them all a talking to. He says his secret to getting her to come back is to yell at her with a broom in hand. Hmmm. I’m worried what he’s gonna do to his teenage daughters when they disobey. Perhaps Kitty-Whisperer isn’t quite the right name for him then. Maybe Kitty-Curser. Or Kitty-Slam-Slam. He certainly likes to mutter, “You should be ashamed of yourself,” to her every time he carries her back to the house.
              You may wonder why we worry about our darlings having kitty sex with Big Blackie or Crusty Calico (no offense to the owner of this magnificent beast). We just haven’t gotten our kitties spayed yet. It’d be nigh near impossible for me to get an appointment this week unless I wanted to pay $600 per cat. Do I have $1200 for that? No way. I do have an appointment for April 16th at an affordable price and I am really excited for it. Then our girls can go outside just as much as they want. And maybe Big Blackie and Crusty Calico can go slum it elsewhere, and leave my innocent, ditzy, teenage kitties alone.
              I’ll be writing about this later on if I find out Nestle or Jingles are pregnant already. Kitty abortion. Now that’s a topic worth writing about. Pro-choice or pro-life? Hmmmm. Jonathan is feeling pretty stressed right now at the thought of more kittens in our household. Is there any reader out there that would like a kitten? Be thinking about it, okay? 

1 comment:

Nancy said...

We've been thinking of getting a kitten, but I think we're a little far away from you. :)

My cat once had kittens and then one of her nursling kittens impregnated her again! So we had mom cat, baby-dad cat, and then EIGHT kittens all in the space of just a few months. It was crazy! Haha!

Good luck with your cats (and with schooling from home)!