How long would your ideal vacation be?

My first impression of island living was, “Wow! This is so relaxed. Everyone is walking slow. Nobody has to be anywhere. No hurrying. No traffic jams, and if there are, people just sit in their cars and wait for the sheep herd to pass, or whatever it is that is blocking the road. I can just swim with the kids whenever I want. They can stay up late and sleep in late. I never make them breakfast since it is provided by the hotel. What could possibly be bad about this?” Well . . . given that I am human and I am a woman . . . it is inevitable that something to complain about will eventually arise. Here are my chief complaints:

• ·         It is soooooooooooooo bright here, my eyes are killing me

• ·         It is so sunny and hot here my skin hurts even though I put on sunblock all day long

• ·         It is so relaxed here, I’m getting stir crazy

They are stupid complaints, I admit. If it weren’t so bright, the shade wouldn’t be so pleasant. If it weren’t so sunny and hot, the water wouldn’t be so divine. If it weren’t so relaxed here, it would be exactly like every other place I’ve lived.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m American that I don’t know how to slow down. I don’t know how not to have a to-do list. I don’t know how not to need anything at the store. I don’t know how not to have to do anything. Sitting for more than fifteen minutes is hard unless I’m reading or watching TV. Even finishing a movie is hard.

Or is it because I’m Mormon and I don’t drink alcohol, tea or coffee? All those liquids that assist in the socializing process definitely help people chill out. Sitting around a table of people and talking has always been hard for me.

 On a side note, if I weren’t Mormon I would have a serious drinking problem. Not only is it in my genes, but I even love Nyquil. When I was moving out of our apartment about a month ago, I was cleaning out our cupboards and throwing out old medicines and pills. When I grabbed the Nyquil I had used a few times when I was sick, I felt my mouth start to water. Weird, right? Just looking at the bottle and holding it in my hand brought back the memory of how that small amount of alcohol (10%) affected me. So soooo good mmmmmmmm. (Think I'm crazy? Read this   http://www.thefix.com/content/nyquil-was-my-gateway-drug2017) 

So, the people that know me will understand how difficult it is for me to be laid back on this island here. I am making small strides though. If you saw me, you’d be proud. I drink herbal tea now. At breakfast, I sit with a Turkish lady who knows nothing of English, and I pretend I understand. She prattles on and on, commenting on the kids, mixing honey and butter and spreading it on Hector’s bread for him, telling me about how her sister is going to come in a week or so to visit her, how she’s going to go and drink coffee with her brother at some café on the waterfront, how she used to be blond but now she dyes her hair, and so on. I can understand a few words here and there but mostly I get to practice my facial expressions. It’s definitely easier than sitting at a table full of people and trying to be social, that’s for sure.

After realizing that this lady’s big event for the day is going to have coffee by the waterfront, I came to the conclusion that making vacation only two weeks long is a really smart idea. I still have five more to go. Would anyone like to come and go swimming with us? The pool is awesome.