Saturday, June 2, 2012

Sleep, eclipse, memories

All my children are snuggled up in their beds. All four of those energetic boys of mine are in one room and Lady Helen gets her own little spot in the little dark room next to the bathroom. I'm so thankful for the space. I just don't know how people can sleep all in the same room. My babies never seem to settle down when they are near us. They just want to jump and play. I love having sleep. It's so relaxing. It's so necessary. Jonathan hates it but I love having a reason to lay my body down. A reason to rest from all the duties that are still unfinished. I have trouble sitting still and just enjoying the moment. I read in the book "Eat Pray Love" about how the Italians knew how to relax. I can't really remember the exact wording but basically Americans don't know how to slow down and enjoy the moment, but Italians do. I agree. I feel like that will be one of my  main regrets. "Why didn't I just sit down and enjoy the moment?" 
  My right wrist has been giving me trouble lately. I don't know if it's carpal tunnel syndrome or what. I rely so heavily on my wrist. I can't do a push up, I can't snap the snaps on Helen's onesies without pain, I can't play guitar, crochet, knit, sew, or lift Hector without pain. I hope it will clear up soon. It has brought new thoughts and plans to my mind though. I spend a lot of my time thinking about what craft I will do next, how I will do it, what colors I should use, etc. If my wrist gets worse, I won't be doing any of that. I'm grateful that I have other interests. Maybe this is a message for me to cultivate some of my other interests and hobbies. I've kind of put my brain on the back burner for a good 5 or 6 years. I don't study anything. I don't write anything. I don't actively research anything (unless its for a craft.) If my health gets worse, I'm definitely going back to school. I love to read and learn languages. I would also love to teach. Its always been my dream.
  The picture above is of Atticus watching the annular eclipse that just happened on May 20, 2012. I took the kids down to Bryce Canyon for the preceding weekend to enjoy the National Park and we finished it off with a solar eclipse. Grandad McCollum met us there with his telescope. We enjoyed watching it just up the hill from our campsite. It was very personal and memorable. I think the kids will remember it forever. 
   I often wonder what snippets of life my kids will find most memorable. Sometimes when I'm mean to them, this thought enters my mind. The things I remember from my childhood are usually moments when I was most mad, or someone else was mad, or when someone else was happy, or a beautiful place, or even sometimes I remember a feeling I had at a certain moment, or a song and the images it brings. I guess it will be that way for my kids as well. I hope they will be able to collect an array of memories, but I really hope they will remember that I tried to show them the world and the many beauties it has. Not just nature, but moments of life. The other day I was driving home from the library with them and I stopped at the stoplight of a busy intersection. On the corner to my right there was an older lady with a walker who had fallen down. A young man, probably in his early 20's, who was riding by on his bike stopped and rushed to help her up. She must have been uncomfortable knowing that she had an audience looking from each stopped car. And to top it off the young man had to put his arms around her waist to lift her up. He could tell she was uncomfortable. I could see that he perceived it so he said something funny to lighten the situation. She smiled and with that he gave a big heave and managed to get her up and back to her walker. It brought tears to my eyes then as I watched it happen and again as I write this. I told my boys as they watched the moment with me that what they saw was what life was all about. They were supposed to help people wherever they went in life. How am I doing this on a daily basis? I really need to set a better example of reaching out to others. It's a tough thing to do because I love having my own time and my own space but I need to show my kids how to help others. I also need to practice doing it as well. 

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