2009

What is my new year's resolution? Here is a list of what my past resolutions have been like.

• lose weight


• lose weight


• lose weight


• go somewhere cool


• go somewhere cool


• go somewhere cool


• learn this language


• learn another language


• read # of books


• etc.

As I look back at these tasks I have wanted to accomplish I realize that they weren't very good ones. Unfortunately, however, they did reflect what was on my mind during those times in my life. I was never satisfied with my weight and somehow thought my life would change drastically if my weight did. Well, now that my weight has decreased I have found that my notion was a lie. Life doesn't change just because your weight does. Not always.

Go somewhere cool. Yeah, I used to make these lists in my mind about how many places I could go in my lifetime. How many stamps could I get in my passport? Now that I think about it, I realize it was just another way to put another notch in my belt. Been there, done that. To be able to say that you've been somewhere cool doesn't really bring that much satisfaction. What is really cool is to be able to have touched someone else's life no matter if they live in Botswana or in Los Gatos, California.

Learning languages is a cool resolution but since I know it takes a lot of determination and time I've given up making those kinds of resolutions. Plus my brain has gotten kind of crusty as I've aged. We all know learning languages is for the young. So you young people out there, do it while you can!

Since I'm a stay at home mom now, I can usually make a little time to read. So sometimes I make resolutions to become well read. I have never really followed through. I guess this is an okay resolution. It's better than making a resolution to watch all the episodes of your favorite series I guess.

So for this years resolution I've decided to do something for someone else. Something unselfish, which is very unlike me. I am really into bettering myself, but since I still find myself searching for some kind of fulfillment I must be doing something wrong. One of the things I treasure most are my children. "I love you to pieces!" I tell them at night. I love them. I give myself to them everyday. And sometimes I give myself to them and ignore the man who helped me bring them into the world. So this year I'm going to try my best to love my husband so he can feel it. Of course I love him, and I hope he knows it. But does he ever feel it? Well, starting today I'm going to do better, and I hope he'll feel it.